It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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