Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
