What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
