Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
You have to summon your inner elephant
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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