i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
