so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize