i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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