Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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