capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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