I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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