the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
