Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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