Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
