one two three fourrrrnication!
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
