I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
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As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
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Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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