a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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