is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
