i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
