And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
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