I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
