is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize