being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
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I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
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All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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