also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
