Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize