And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
