Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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