That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
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