he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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