Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
You're like the curious george of whores
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
