Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I smell like Dick and happiness
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
