Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize