Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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