Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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