I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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