Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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