Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
My feet surprised me
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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