I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize