I just cut my nipple shaving
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
