butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
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