I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
