Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
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My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
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I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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