Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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