why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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