miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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