wake up i wanna do it froggy style
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
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