Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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