oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
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