today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
