this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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