But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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