what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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