If i could tip my vagina, i would.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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