in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
