i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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