I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
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