i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
