We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
