I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
