I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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