I bet he comes in French.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
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