Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Couch. On fire.
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