I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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