Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
